Having a LAP Band fitted was the best thing I ever did. It took the responsibility to watching what I eat out of my hands. It's a volume control, and when the volume is turned down really low, that's it. I would be dead soon if I hadn't done it.

My kids were teased at school. We had a new baby. Sure, there are a lot of problems living with The Beast Within ... basically, it's an aversion to eating. Look on the bright side, though ... you learn lots of creative vomiting techniques. And clever ways to get around the thing.

Even after 3 years, I need the bastard to keep me honest. I now have 3.2ml in the tank and that seems to be the best balance between complete stoppage with nightly reflux and eating somewhat freely. I had the juice removed twice to travel to Africa and immediately reverted to my old habits ... I put on around 8-10 kilos in a month both times. I'll have this thing the rest of my life and I'm happy with that.

I know lots of people who have had slippages, bands and ports replaced and bad gastric problems, but not one regret having the thing. Even I've had a slight symmetrical slippage sometime over the past three years, but it seems to have righted itself with less fluid. I think some Bandsters put too much faith in the band and insist it do all the work, having it so damned tight they can't even drink water, but it's really only an appliance, an aid, not an end in itself.

I've now reached the "glass floor" of having lost around 60% of my excess weight and if I want to lose any more I have to diet and exercise ... I can now ride a bike without the seat disappearing up my arse, so I have no excuse.

I'm pretty happy with the way I look now, but will eventually only be happy when I reach my ultimate goal. It may take a couple of more years to lose that last 15 or so kilos, but what the hell ... I have time now.